Dear blog commenters,

Please don't demean what I say on here. I keep this blog for me. Not for your lurking pleasures. I keep this to keep my emotions in check FOR ME. So, if you're going to demean something I say via anonymous comments, don't. EXAMPLE: Saying, "It's just blah blah blah. Stop being so depressive and stressed."

I keep this blog open for anyone to read, but that is NOT an invitation for you to be rude to me or demean what I say. So if you think I'm being melodramatic, angry, or depressive, keep it to yourself. Chances are I know that. And don't think you know all the in's and out's of my life just because you read this. I'm a lot more complex than one website.

:(

I'm really stressed out. Student council is going to hell in a handbag. I'm not getting A's in any of my classes. I really, really, really, really, really miss my best friend. Today I got a letter from her and I cried a lot because I really miss her and really need her.







:(

5th period. Again.

I love Photo and Macbooks.

I am livid.

I'm sick of everyone being shady, not fulfilling things they committ to, and just being lazy asses. Excuse me, world, but take lessons on how NOT to do things half-ass. If you say you'll do something, DO IT. If you committ to something, FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. It's so frustrating! I'm seriously one of the busiest people I know. Yeah, I hate it sometimes, but I do it. BECAUSE I COMMITTED TO IT. It's called being honorable. I'm sorry for this angry post, but seriously. Step up.

100

Really? Am I really this emotionally pathetic? I SUUUUUUCK.

We are so much more alike than you know.

P.S. Happy 100th post, blog.

Haaaay!

I had a really good night. Last night, not so much.
Anyway, enjoy the following quotes that I like from dearoldlove.tumblr.com. They very much 'speak' to me, if you will :):

When you said “I love you,” you forgot to add, “But I love drugs more.”

Every time I describe you, I hate the person I’m talking about. But every time you’re within touching distance, I’m painfully enamored.

As it turns out, every song ever written is about you. I had no idea you were so popular.

Don’t assume I had nothing to say because I didn’t reply. I had a lot to say. I just didn’t think any of it would matter.

I know it got old for you, but I could have gone back and forth hurting each other forever.

I was a blank piece of paper that you drew all over. Now others have difficulty “getting” me.

You won’t find someone who loves you more than I did. And that may be best for us both.

5th period.

You know what?

I didn't realize how much I love being student council president until this week. I just really love the feeling of being the heart of so much planning. I kind of have a controlling personality and this is the perfect way to feed it. I am just scared that this position will be taken away from me over the next two years. I don't know what I'd do, to be honest. I really love it.

You're welcome.

Found the SICKEST prom location ever for 2010. I had to tell someone, so why not my blog? That's all.

Six-word memoirs on love & heartbreak:

"Not always perfect. But so worthwhile." -Lauren Anderson

"Never forget, I love you madly." -Adam Rader

"I wasn't supposed to meet you." -Deborah Greene

"It never hurt as good again." -Marc Ecko

"Unrequited love is just another addiction." -Amanda Faith Moore

"Love. Loss. Love lost. Stories gained." -Kristen Jones

"Hearts never look both ways first." Tanya Jarrett

"I lvoed the idea of you." -Audrey Adu-Appiah

"Alone by chance, not by choice." -Catherine Lanser

"Stalked him until he married me!" -Tiffany Mesquite

"I thought we had more time." -Joe Hill

"My life's accomplishments? Sanity, and you." -Elizabeth Gilbert

"Where he is, I am home." -Julia Evans

"I always take love frivolously serious." -Xavier Hollander

"Waiting to forget your name again." -Cybele Paschke

"Love. Lost. Cried. Raged. Chocolate. Next." -Jackie Childress

"Thank you for breaking my heart." -Mia Kirshner

"Marry for love, again and again." -Deborah Rodriguez

"She knows what my Kryptonite is." -Matt Ruff

"Butterflies still kicking after ten years." -Lisa Taylor

"Love almost always leads to heartbreak." -Raoul Relder

"Love at first sight is blind." -Jace Albao

"Overly romantic soul, born wrong era." -Elisa Shevitz

"My heart is my strongest muscle." -Shanna Katz (I really love that one.)

"We were roadkill on love's highway." -Kyla E. Town

"Don't want your ring. Just love." -Naomi Piercey

"He sees the me I don't." -Mary Catherine Hamelin

"I kicked Romeo's ass. The end." -Lee Payne

"Love unreturned is still worth feeling." -Lisa Stanton

"I am a goddess. Please agree." -Abiola Abrams

"My self-esteem died that day." -Sandi Brown

"He was The One. I wasn't." -Cathy Collinson

"Didn't realize I'd still be lonely." -Ramela Cash

"Love makes the world go stupid." -David Sandler

"Now I hate hearing that song." -T'Anna Holst

"Love has healed my many wounds." -Inara de Luna

"Loved him until nothing was left." -Jackie Hodges

"He would have been my forever." -Tina Blanchard

"He had nothing. Gave me everything." -Rebecca Woolf

"Everyone's crazy except for you and me." -Mark Frauenfelder

"Let's live on an island together." -Carla Sinclair

"In hindsight, I'd still choose you." -Natana Gill

Allllllright, blog readers.

Wanna know how bored I was today? I took a Gossip Girl personality test. Guess what? I'm Nate: "You're incapable to make straight decisions because your vision is always clouded by increasing factors. There's always a lot of pressure and you can't handle it, but hey... this is Gossip Girl after all, and when a GG hero's brought down, it's never for too long..." That doesn't describe me or anything...

ANYWAY. I want a good book. I want to see a good movie. I would really love recommendations, so comment and fill me with your knowledge. :)

Yes!!!

This is my first free weekend since, oh, October? Let me take you through my Friday night:

Duo act show. Epic success. Just kidding, but it was fun. I went home and washed the clown make up off of my face and got dressed. Then I picked Casey up and we went to Cupz and Crepes (shocker?). Had some delicious crepes and THE MOST DELICIOUS kiwi-strawberry-honey crepe ever. We played checkers, twice. And I almos won. ;) After that, I went to Danie's. In the thrill of us both having our license now, we got in my car and just drove around. We drove by the movies and around by Target and all that. Then we decided to go back to her house to get HER car so she can drive me. We went to the Melting Pot so she can check it out to see if it was appropriate boy-toy date material. Turns out, it's hella expensive there. Who knew? Then we went across the street to Florencia and applied for a JOB. Because I totally have time for a job and everything. Then we went to Baskin Robbins to apply for a job there and met up with my darlings Annie and Sarah. We all went to Starbucks after and chatted. Then, after that, Danie and I went to her boyfriends house and played Apples to Apples with a bunch of seniors. I won. Dat'z riiiight. :) I'm such a pro! Then Danie and I went home and crashed. It was, nonetheless, a magical night. It was nice socializing for the first time in like 3 months.

On another note, something inside of me has changed. I've never been much of a Taylor Swift fan. I was like, "Meh, she's overrated. Whatevz." But. Stef got me the CD for my birthday a few months ago, and the car I drive has a CD player. Tay Swift is really the only CD I have so I decided to give it a listen. Now... I LOVE HER. She's seriously excellent. Boo Sammi for being hypocritical, but I don't care. I'm never lonely in my car because Taylor's always keepin me company!


"Hey Stephen"

Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
As we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
Ill be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone.

Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one elseI can't help myself

Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same

They're dimming the street lights
You're perfect for me why aren't you here tonight?
I'm waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine

Hey Stephen I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well they're beautiful but would they write a song for you

Know what I love?

I LOVE DUO ACT SHOWS!!!!!! Just so everyone knows, I make a rockin' clown.

Anyway, I had this weird dream last night. It was one of those dreams where you wake up feeling like you know the person in your dream better. So... I would really like to be friends like we were in my dream. That would be really nice.

That's all. My life is weird, but it's good.

1/14/09

Today was my best friend's birthday. HAPPY 17th, BREEZY!
Today, I took a math test.
Today, the trucks engine is being fixed.
Today, Casey and I went to the library.
Today, I ate really delicious raspberry chicken wings.
Today, I had a very renewing conversation.
Today, I got really angry about my past.
Today, I said some irrational things.
Today, I came to peace, finally.
Today, I think I finally got a grip on myself.

Ugh.

STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME. I'm always so happy and then you do something dumb to send me back into nostalgia. Like, oh, I don't know... talk to me? Please don't. I don't want to deal with it anymore.

A quickie.

Quick update on my emotional stability/life: I'm good. :) I had a very draining and disappointing weekend, and not much to look forward to now that Stef came and left and I got my license.

Anyway, I hate when things stay the same for too long. I get bored.

EMOTIONS:

Why am I so happy one day and then completely frustrated and horribly sad the next?

I need to grow the hell up and get over myself.

I am happy.

Why? Let me show you: I am currently involved in the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. There is no jealousy, no arguments, and no controlling feelings. I really like it and I'm really lucky.

That's THE BEAST. Isn't he pretty?! I REALLY LOVE IT!!! :) It's seriously so much fun to drive and I'm so lucky to have this as my first car!!!! It's seriously perfect.

MY BREEZY has been in town since New Years Eve, and it's seriously been the best visit! Truth be told, my life is 20x better when she's here. Or I'm there. It's fact.

So.

This blog is embarassing. It's just kind of emotional word vomit that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. While that IS me (an overall hot mess), I've started another blog. It's a secret though. :)

"Some days I do not miss you. But other days."

I really like these tattoos:

I also really like this website:

http://dearoldlove.tumblr.com/

FRUSTRATION!

I want to burn everything in my memory box SO BADLY. Of course I know I'll regret it but I just want to get your words out of my head. I feel like I can't be happy with myself until I FORGET. I am blessed with beautiful people around me. I am so happy for everyone I have, but it's like this little space in my heart will not be happy until I forget you, forget your words, forget everything about you. I'm long over it, but not at the point of forgetting it.

I'M SO FRUSTRATED. Because this has been plaguing me too long.

How I spent my final moments of 2008:

Casey came over! We watched Scrubs and then played some Disney/Christmas tunes on the piano. He's a musical genuis... Then, we ate my favorite foods and I introduced him to the loves of mylife, shrimp salsa and caviar. :D SUCCESS, to say the least. Then, in honor of my parents birthday (because they were both born on Dec 31st), we played Yahtzee with them and my little sister. Casey won. By a lot. Then Casey and I proceeded to play some more Christmas tunes before we were joined by Lauren, Paige, and Emily. Then followed some pretty intense Rock Band jam seshs. THEN, Lauren and I choreographed and practiced a number the the musical she is writing: Speech and Debate, The Musical. Jealous? Anyway, Stef came home around this time from her dabacherys with her friends. We performed our musical masterpiece for her. This left us at about 11:45. We all went in a circle and said our highlights of 2008 and our resolutions for next year. Then followed a loud, happy, screaming 2009. It was so exciting.

If this is a representation of how my year is going to go, then I am so ready and so happy for this new year.