<3!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMYb8sq-jDU

I WANT TO MARRY STEPHEN COLBERT

Everything here accurately depicts my life. Yep, even Kanye.

Oh, finals week.

You are a whore.

Also, immune system, you are also a whore.

Happy holidays. Let's make gingerbread cookies together before Christmas.

Also, this tattoo is what's up. SO PRETTY:

Oh dear God.

Mackenzie is singing Justin Beiber in the shower right now. I might punt her.

Well. OMG HEY BLOG! No one blogs anymore. Which is beneficial to me, because I can use this to bitch about my life. <3 I just went through some of my old posts and it makes me LOL because I'm pretty annoying, aren't I? Like, I complain a looooooooot... I apologize for that. I'll make steps to fix it.

Anyway, mmmm, what a delicious quote this is:

"I wasn’t good enough for you, I know that. I was in love with you, but I realized I didn’t give as much as I should have. Being in love is one thing, but being love is a higher level that you deserved. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life. We’re different people now, but I’d give everything for one last chance to give you the world like you gave it to me."

MMMM perfection of my life. Anyway, I'm 90% sure that I might kill myself this week because of finals. I have 10 tests total. 1 history, 1 psychology, 4 chemistry, 2 math, and 2 spanish. And I have to do well on all of them in order to get into college. Yeah. I'm being that extreme about this all. Damn it, my laziness this semester is biting me in the butt right about now. This is the week where everything I haven't done this semester is coming back to haunt me... I have the worst grade I've ever had in a class in chemistry, and I'm highly considering not even showing up to my math final, I'm THAT screwed for it. Yeeeeeep. I'm a dumbass. I just need to get through this week so I can focus on rocking prom and rocking speech. I'm so over this whole school bit. And high school in general. I'm ready to GTFO.

Xoxo.
<3

!!!!

UGH I'm seriously so over blogspot. All it does is remind me of somber feelings and reminds me how no one has courage unless they're behind a computer. So please, don't ask if me I've read so-and-so's blog lately. Because I haven't, and I won't, because I am making a permanent exit from the blog world. It makes me sick and sad. But mostly sad. See ya latah.

SHOUT OUT

to all the judgemental jerks. Keepin' it real. This is why I don't blog anymore.

LOL blogging

Am I over it?... Maybe. I go in and out of my blogging phases. Right now I'm just a tad disappointed in the vast majority of the people I know so I prefer to stay away from blogs in general.

HP

Righto, here is my opinion on HP and the Half-Blooded Price:

I thought it was absolutely wonderful. My favorite of the six. I thought the cinematography was the best of the movies - the filming was so good and spot-on. The actors have really developed and I thought the acting was so good. Lavender Brown is soooo teenage girl-y and just PERFECT! I know there were two scenes that weren't in the move, but honestly, I don't care. The beginning where Harry is hitting on that random black girl is a hell of a lot more interesting than Fudge and the Prime Minister of Britain just talking. They also encompassed pretty much everything they talked about when they showed the Death Eaters destroying the Muggle bridge and reaping havoc. The scene where the Weasleys house got destroyed - not my fave, but I didn't dislike it. It was intersting. It reeeeally showed off the characteriztion of Bellatrix (WHICH WAS BRILLIANT), so I liked it. I also really liked how they made references to Malfoy and the Vanashing Cabinet throughout the movie, because in the book you didn't know WTF he was doing and it was confusing (although I never really understood why he needed the Death Eaters there to kill Dumbledore.... besides the point). The scene of Dumbledore's death was REALLY powerful and so sososososososo well done. I was concerned because they downplayed Sirius' death in the fifth movie and it wasn't that tragic. But Dumbledore's was great, powerful, sad. I'm not upset that they didn't show the funeral because his actual death was so impacting. I thought the mixture of humor and serious stuff was the best out of all the movies. Harry when he was taking the Felix Felices was brilliant. One of my favorite scenes in the movie was when Harry and Hermione were talking about Ron and Ginny.... ah. :) I thought they followed the book well. Yeah, they left some stuff out, but they have to make decisions about stuff like that. It's a long-ass book and there's only so much they can do in two and a half hours. A lot of people flipped out because there was no battle scene. This and the third book are the only books with no confrontation with Voldemort, and because of this reason alone it will be less action-packed. This really is the book with the least amount of fighting. Honestly, it's not even much of a battle when the Death Eaters are at Hogwarts. It's the Death Eaters running out while Hermione and Ron and others try to stop them. I'm not too torn up over it. OVERALL: I approve. I am content. J.K. Rowling thought it was the best one yet, and if the creator of the series thinks it's good, I don't know why anyone else should think otherwise. I don't think anything Harry Potter could ever disappoint me. :)








(LOL NERRRRRRRD)

I've had an uncharacteristic, abnormal, maybe unhealthy obsession with tattoos lately.

(^^ Stef and I plan on getting matching puzzle piece tats on our backs. There's only one breezy in my life. She honestly is an extension of me, and there will be NO one else like her in my life!)


(^^^ This is from the quote: “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars” I really like it.)



(^^^ "I live a damned life.")
(^^^ The quote is stupid, it's like "we';; break these poker faces, like it or not." Besides that, this is seriously so cool.)

(^^^"The world is at my feet." SO COOL.)
(^^^ "Nothing happens by chance.")
(^^^....ah. Perhaps my favorite one of all.)
(^^^ "Passion will make you crazy, but is there any other way to live?" This is so cool.)

"Suffering is what brings us towards happiness."

Begin rant:

Hey, you should come back into my life. Really! Whenever I see you, I just can't stop thinking about you and the past five years and what we've experienced. There's really no excuse for two people who live so close to be so distant. You were and will remain (for awhile) the most influential person in my lifetime, and it'd be really nice if we talked again. I know we're completely different people now, but I do miss you. I just wish you'd text me like you used to to ask me to meet you at the corner to sit and talk. Some of my favorite memories are on that corner.

/end rant



(that rant was shorter than I intended it to, but that's the only thing blog-worthy on my mind right now.)

"You must stay here, with me."

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

My nostalgia has been HARD HITTIN' lately. Like, it's all over the place. I need to escape from my own head.

Sorry my posts suck.

LAJhlashfuhehdegs.

I need to be kissed by a Dementor or something. Then I won't have a soul, then I won't have emotions, then I won't be sad, then I won't ever disappoint myself, then I won't ever get led on, then I won't ever care about anything, then my life would be a lot simpler. I'm just overall disappointed and angry at myself for letting myself get caught up in this, get caught up in YOU.

My posts have lost significance.

A text I just recieved from Emily:
"Well i was just htinking of how it seems like no matta how much i keep getting to know about your life, there's still like a BAJILLLIUN more things ta know and how i just can't figure out why some people dislike you and then i decided that you may or may not be the most well known person in our grade. And how i'm like WTF how did i win this friendship. Then i wonder if i Am like . . . POPULAR too?! That is all."

HI BETCH, THANKS FOR THE LOVE. In my opinion, our friendship is a win on MY part.







P.S. Note to self: must cease using smiley faces in texts. Men percieve it to be flirting. I iz not flirting. Just being friendly.

BLOGGING

It's so unnecessary to call someone out via blog. Especially when you're really blatant about it.

:)

"I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes
.These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you"

"What's a crush to do?"

I'm seriously obsessed with my friends. They awe me day in and day out. My life will never get boring with them. :) And they still like me even after they realized I'm a lot less cool than they thought I was. THANKS GUYS

LOLpointless

It's time I start using my blog to ramble more. I like to talk, in case you don't know this, and I just feel like talking right now. I decided today that I may or may not be obsessed with every male I work with. My supervisors, Kyle and Marcus, are two of the funniest people I know. I used to not like Marcus, but he's gotten so much cooler as we've hung out at work the last few days. There's this kid, John, who works in the cafe, and he's one of those awkward, lurking boys. AKA me in male form. Really, he is. We get along great, and he makes me food when I get really hungry. Steven...... is not really good looking or anything...... (lolz how embarrassing would it be if he found this?)....... I don't know. The people I work with make work bareable. And the best part is, I get paid to hang out with these funny, awesome, amusing, entertaining people. I work my ASS off at work, and I know I've made an impression as a hard worker, which is great. Because I AM a hard worker, and it's excellent getting recognized for that. I'm leaving for Boston in 16 days... and that's crazy! It's come up so fast! YES TO VISITING THE EAST COAST! And more importantly..... muhhh br333333zzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy! Also, this summer has been really really great so far. It's so nice being with my friends. It's so nice having a job. It's so nice doing summer schools (lulz JOKE). I really like working out. It's great. I hate waking up, but it's worth it. Literally, the only reason I'm trying to get into such good shape is for West Point. Yeah, I'd loooooove to look good in a swim suit and have a rockin' bawdy, but that means a LOT less to me than my dreams for West Point. LOLmotivation. I'm planning on buying an iTouch tomorrow. Time to treat myself. I haven't spent any money earned from work yet, and this will be a great thing to do. :) P.S. Today, I showered at Carly's. While I was getting dressed, I noticed a hicky-ish thing on my neck. But it's definitely NOT a hicky. At all. I think a vampire visited me in my sleep. It hurts. :(

Blessings in abundance!

I would like to take this time to break out of my normally moody blog posts and inform the world of the many blessings I have in my life.

001. My pops. Father's Day made me realize how grateful I am for my dad. There are so many people around me who have fathers who are never around, don't give their children the time of day, don't care about what they're doing. My dad is so wonderful. He may be odd and strict, but he has taught me to strive for excellence. He has taught me to be the best that I can be, to raise my standards. He pushed me to do student council, he has been pushing me to consider West Point my entire life. It's incredible how much he supports my dreams, and making him proud is the best feeling of satisfaction in the world. I love you, Dad! Thank you, and you deserve the best Father's Day.

002. My incredible friends. No, really, my friends are incredible. Stefanie lives over 2000 miles away from me, but she is closer to me than any friend I've ever had. She will be the highlight of my summer and there is nothing in the world I love more than spending late nights watching movies, crying together, spending days shoppping, and reading on the Harvard campus. She truly is an extension of me and I can honest to God say I would not be who I am without her. Emily has made my year what it is, and she seriously is the friend I've needed this whole time in Arizona. She has improved my sense of humor BY A TEN FOLD (lolz what's a ten fold?), and she has shown me what true friendship is. I can't even verbalize what she has done for me and how much she means to me. She has given me such a mature friendship, and I think literally nothing can hinder our friendship. Tucker texts me just to remind me I'll always have a friend in him. And he always does it at the perfect time. He's seriously like a brother figure to me and I feel so blessed to have such a caring friend. I've never had a "brother" before, and he's so understanding. Dillon is my other half. He makes me life so much better in every aspect, I can't even express what he has done for me! He has been my only solid friend in high school, the one who hasn't changed, the one who continues to love me despite my mental insanity. I know he'll always be there for me, and I know he'll be there for me for the rest of my life. I could write NOVEL about my friends... but I will limit it to just this.

003. My sister. I don't even feel the need to expand on this topic because it is clear that I have been blessed with a best friend as a sister. We hate each other a lot of the time, but she means the most to me out of anyone I know.

004. S&D and Stu Co. Call me lame, but I feel so lucky to have TSTDC and student council!! Speech and debate is just so motivating and so inspiring, I feel so blessed to have found an activity I love so much and something I can submerge myself in. And I don't care how stressful and sometimes pointless student council is, it's such a great venting/relieving mechanism. I may or may not be controlling by nature, and stu co is such a great way to put that to use. (...right. Now I feel really lame for posting this. Don't judge me.)

005. Life experiences. I feel so lucky to have experienced everything I have in my life. Some of it has sucked, but I'm 16 and already have experienced so much of love, friendship, loss, and disappointment. I have learned so much in such a short amount of time. I've had such mental growth over the past year, and I am grateful for every single thing, sucky or not, that has happened to lead me where I am today. I feel like such a strong person. And I'm so grateful for everyone who has helped me become who I am and for everything that has happened.

Not everything I blog about is about you.

"I wasn’t good enough for you, I know that. I was in love with you, but I realized I didn’t give as much as I should have. Being in love is one thing, but being love is a higher level that you deserved. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life. We’re different people now, but I’d give everything for one last chance to give you the world like you gave it to me."

"Words fall through me and alway fool me and I can't react."

Random Thoughts:

I am SO FREAKIN' SICK of Taylor Swift. Before I started working at Makutu's Island, I would have called myself a legitimate fan. But all they play at work is her music. I hear all of her songs at least twice a day and I'm seriously about ready to strangle Tay Swift herself.

My dad just bought me a West Point t-shirt online. It makes me really happy and it's really encouraging knowing how bad he wants that for me. My hopes of going to West Point have been renewed lately. I didn't think I would ever be in the physical shape to even be accepted to West Point, but all I've been doing with my days is working, summer school, and working out. I'm feelin' good, man! I just hope I don't disappoint my father if something goes wrong.

So, does anyone else out there, ANYONE, hold significance to this day like I do? There's really only one other person that should. Maybe I'm just a nostalgic freak with an excellent memory. I think it's really interesting when I look at how the last two years of my life played out. I honestly can say they were the most unpredictable two years ever. Every aspect of my life has changed. I love it and I hate it.

Emily comes home from her England excursion today. Thank the Lord Almighty.

I have been rather peaceful lately, which is strange considering my circumstances. I am learning to be happy, even when I'm alone. This is something I have wanted to accomplish since middle school.

+/-

My posts have been really shallow lately. I'm sorry. I don't want to indulge on every detail in my life, because most of them are sad. The good news is that I have really great friends who always pick me up. The bad news is that one of them lives in Boston and the other one has been in England since the end of school. The good news is that Danie and I are working out hardcore tomorrow. The bad news is that my heart is always sad. The good news is that So You Think You Can Dance is incredible this season. The bad news is that your words hurt me so much, and I don't know why you would root for someone's unhappiness. The good news is that I love my job. The bad news is that I sometimes hate my job. The good news is I'm still Sammi. The bad news is that I don't know who that is anymore.

Just a reminder.

This is a reminder to both myself and all of you. This is my all-time favorite quote, and it moves me everytime.

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, 'you owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky."

Pessimism

I feel like everything in my life ends in hurting. I'm sick of it. I wish something infinitely good and permanent will come around.

(Untitled Post)

I may or may not have just made a really poor decision.

Fuck. I'm just a giant mess of emotion, indecisiveness, and patheticness. I need to get out of here. Forget about everything. Go to Boston. Be with my best friend. I need to figure myself out. I need help.

"Just once I want to fall in love and not have it hurt so bad in the end. Actually can I just have a love that doesnt end? Or is there no such thing?"

I stumbled upon this while lurking other blogs. See... good does come from lurking! :)
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does ‘love’ mean?’

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’
Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’
Karl - age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
’Chrissy - age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’
Terri - age 4

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’
Emily - age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’
Bobby - age 7

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’
Nikka - age 6

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’
Noelle - age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’
Tommy - age 6

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’
Chris - age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day’
Mary Ann - age 4

You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’
Jessica - age 8

Eccentric

I love it when people describe me as eccentric. It mean I have accomplished in being different. And I really, really love it. :)

People are people

People are inherently good. Even people who you thought sucked, people who have hurt you before, they are good people too. I think a notion of kindness from a stranger of the past is the single most impactful thing. So thanks, humanity, for being good to me. :)

People

1. You are seriously the biggest bitch of a person I have ever met. You have ruined and will continue to ruin the life of someone who DOESN'T deserve it. Grow up, move on, and let the poor boy be. He deserves far more than you could ever give him.

2. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. I'm not exaggerating when I say my life would be unbearable without you. You get me through every aspect of my life - socially, at work, when I have problems, when I need to vent. You are a wonderful friend and one of the only sensible people left in my life. I will forever be indebted to you :) I love you incredibley!

3. LOL @ your life. What are you doing with it?!

4. You are the light of my life, even over 2000 miles away. Thank you for being so much to me. You are an extension of me, and you inspire me everyday! I love you and I miss you!

5. Get out of my life. You're annoying. Except I love you a lot. You're kind of my other half (the hotter, skinnier half). Thanks for listening to my life problems. Wellp... see ya.

6. 'ELLO CHAP. Come back from England because it's so hard not having you here. YOU GET ME. Wellp. I'm not going to get too emotional for this because we don't do emotions...

7. You are the single most selfless person I have ever met. I don't deserve you.

8. Fake fake fake fake fake fake fake. Fake.

9. You are beautiful in every way! I wish you could see how beautiful you really are, you are so kind and generous and motivated. It makes me so sad knowing that you don't think of yourself in that light at all and I hope you see it someday.

10. I really love you. You are the most valuable in my life. I'm so glad we've stopped being enemies, because you are my best friend. Let's keep it like this for the rest of our lives. You aren't an idiot. And you're bright. P.S. Yes this is about you.

11. I am excited to know you. :)

Summer school

sucks BAD. Why did I do it? English online? Really? Do I have a brain?

Wellp, on a more positive note, I'll birng you up to date with rockin' DOL's:

"Though you really should change, don’t do it for me."

"You made me lose my sparkle. I got it back now."

"It has been weeks, but I am still unable to differentiate my own smells from yours."

"I started a new relationship to show you it was easy for me to move on. Meanwhile, you’ve moved on and I’m now trapped."

"I tried my hardest not to fall asleep. I was sure that sharing a pillow with you and your smile was better than any dream I was going to have."

"You’ve left for the umpteenth time and I still can’t believe it feels as bad as losing the you first time. "

"I’ll remember you for the rest of my life, for both good and bad reasons, but I’m terrified you’ll forget me the second you leave."

"It hurts a lot when you don’t talk to me. It hurts more when you don’t talk about me."

"It has been a month. Please disembark from my train of thought."

"I didn’t want you to leave because I knew you’d never come back."

"Our first kiss was like a gateway drug. "

"I’ve been on an endless search for life-changing experiences to turn me back into the person I was before we met."

"I spend all day sending you telepathic messages that I will always love you (and that the Brewers are better than the Cubs)."

"I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy because I think we’re communicating through Dear Old Love."

"It’s like a disease—you lie dormant for months, and just when I think I’m in the clear, another outbreak. Stop texting me."

"I don’t think I’m ever going to meet anyone more perfect for me than you were. I hope I’m wrong."

"The sad thing is, what I miss most are all the things I complained about when we were together."

"I know you’d be delighted to find out I regret breaking up with you. So you never, ever will."

I am

not in a good place AT ALL right now. My heart just hurts. I need peace.

I have

already fallen in love with BML and I posted that last post less than five minutes ago.

"You were the first person to ever show me what love was. You made me who I am today in more ways then you’ll ever know. I know you don’t remember us, nor do you know the person that I am today. I may have learned so much about love after you left, but you were the seed that started it all.
I won’t ever tell you any of this, but I hope you’re happy.
If anyone in the world deserves to be, you do."

"I’ve considered myself to be so strong. I’ve worked to predict every outcome, every fall, every single way this could go wrong. With everything I’ve ever learned about protecting myself, you still broke through.
You’ve exposed my greatest weakness of never really healing when I’ve said I’ve healed.
You made me think perfection was reachable again, and for that I can’t ever forgive you."

"I often think about what it would be like if none of this ever happened. If we hadn’t met each other, and we continued to live our lives without ever encountering each other.
I used to wish for it, but I no longer do because that would mean I would be without the memories we made together.
They’re all I have left."

"I won’t ever forgive you because you don’t deserve to feel better.
The person I was before you broke my heart would have forgiven you, but that person is gone."

"I wasn’t good enough for you, I know that. I was in love with you, but I realized I didn’t give as much as I should have. Being in love is one thing, but being love is a higher level that you deserved.
I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.
We’re different people now, but I’d give everything for one last chance to give you the world like you gave it to me."

"Some of us remember the moment, where it was, why it happened. Others remember the exact day it happened, what we were wearing, and exactly where we were standing.
But we all remember the moment our hearts slipped off our sleeves, and broke like glass into hundreds of unglueable pieces as it hit the ground.
At that second, love no longer was forever, and we knew we’d never think it was again."

"You’re so meant to be in my life that I think if we put our backs together and ran away from each other, at some point we’d collide whether it took hours, days, or years.
Everyday I see your smile, I can’t help but get shy like the first time I ever saw it.
It’s like falling in love all over every time, and I want to keep doing it everyday of my life."

"The best thing about us is that we know exactly how to make each other laugh, cry, frown, freak out, and most importantly smile.
I always wonder why I never met you before I did, and why we never got the chance to start earlier than we did. Then I realized I met you the exact second I was ready to truly appreciate you.
You’re the best focus of a heart at any given second of every day."

"It can happen when you’re already happy, barely happy, or even thinking that you’ll never have something so great in your life like you just had previously.
But it takes one moment to stumble into something more amazing.
It’s the one thing you underestimate the most.
Or the one person."

"You’re flawed, angry, frustrating, and stubborn. Sometimes, the most frustrating thing in the world is trying to be there for you.
But i’ve never felt more contempt with doing anything in my life than I am with that.
I look at your face, and no matter how far you go, how distant at times we get, and how we just seem to plain disagree sometimes, the truth is known to me.
I’m madly in love with you when you let me.
And that’ll always be the best feeling I know."

"There’s always that one person that makes you change yourself. That person that you hate, but will never really stop loving. It ended bad but the good memories never leave, thus they always haunt you.
You’re that better person now, but they won’t be getting any thanks.
There’s nothing more secret to your heart than that."

"You disappoint me to the point where I forget why I ever fell in love with you.
Make no mistake though, I’m never going to let you go."

ATTN blog readers:

Stefanie shared a blog with me, and I know more than one of you will appreciate this beauty. Enjoy:
http://boymeetslove.com/

GRRR!

I'm very careful not to name names in my blog when I am angry or upset, and this is no exception. I. Am. So. Irked. I've just been irritated by so many people around me lately and I'm ready for summer so I can just shake them off. Maybe it's just me and my tolerance level getting lower and lower. But maybe people around me have been un-maturing. Maturing backwards. I DON'T KNOW. Maybe I should just learn patience. I'm really lucky to have two BFF's in this state who understand me though. Thank you Emily and Dillon for keeping me sane. Like really, I really really thank you because I could probably go on a mass murdering spree without you.

Side note: I am excited to see my breezy and bestest best friend Stefanie Gardner this summer. She will renew my sanity and my love for life.

So good.

This is a commencement speech given by Mary Schmich in 1997. My motold me about it and I really like it.




"Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults... and if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

AMEN!

"You were passionate & well endowed. Too bad he’s so much more than that to me."

Been a while...

In all honesty, the only reason I ever long onto blogspot anymore is to see Dear Old Love updates. They just MOVE me! Because even though I don't relate to them anymore, I have at one point and most of them are just beautifully written. So let me share some with you before I actually start this post:


My world revolves around you, but I haven’t seen you in almost 2 years. I feel like Pluto, the quasi-planet, looking for the sun from a trillion miles away.

I write about you in my blog and pray you still can’t afford a computer due to your rampant drug use.

When we met, I wanted to save you. Now I’m the one who needs to be rescued.

I should’ve learned by now that dysfunctional plus dysfunctional does not equal normal.

I’ll always find it incredibly charming when you have strong feelings about things. Even things that aren’t me.

I know I meant more to you than you were able to tell me. I could tell by the way you looked at me. I still needed the words.

Why am I the only one of your ex-girlfriends you’re not still in love with?

My roommate saw you at the grocery store. You can buy food now?!

In case you’re wondering if any of these are about you: this one is.

You said you would love me forever. I guess forever arrived earlier for you.

You are such a weird thing to miss.

Do you think about me half as much as I Google you?

Sometimes I think we should break up so we can post pithy lines here about how great we were together.

I hate that your love had an expiration date.

I pick fights with him now, because I got so used to daily brawls with you.

You taught me my worth and then decided I wasn’t worthy enough.

I don’t regret writing all those long-ass letters to you (not even that last one).

I looked forward to past summers because of how we always found each other. I am dreading this one because you’ve found someone else.

I like to pretend I’m done with you, but every time I catch a whiff of someone chewing your strawberry gum, suddenly I’m back to when my hair is long and you loved me.

You were all my important firsts rolled into one big, curly-haired amateur footballer.

I wish it were simple enough that I could Ctrl+D you from my mind.

More collaboration, less competition. That’s all I crave.

I’ll never forget how you kissed me on the forehead in the middle of the night; or how I sobbed two days later when you broke my heart (again).

I regret that we spent our whole reationship trying to prove how much we didn’t like each other.



IN OTHER NEWS:
A. I got a job. I'm seriously so excited.
B. I'M VISITING MY BEST FRIEND AND MY FAVORITE CITY THIS SUMMER! It will be the highlight of my summer, no doubt. I am maximized as a person when we're together... so I couldn't be more excited! She is the light of my life!
C. I'm glad the school year is over. Not only am i de-stressed, but this year hasn't really been that... good. I feel like it was too fast to be substantial. Ya know?
D. 1'm 0bs3sS3d w!t TWITTER!

Aight.... peace.

New Favorite DOL's

Sure I miss the kissing and the sex. But most of all, I miss being adored.

In my daydreams, you always get the hero role. I don’t know why—you were far from the hero in my real life.

I’m so misearble without you, it’s like you’re still here.

I try to get lost in my dreams. Then, maybe I’ll find you.

You like mustard on your hot dogs and can’t sleep without a fan. But other than that I still don’t know who you are.

For someone who “cares,” you’re doing a really good imitation of someone who doesn’t care.

She ruined you, then you ruined me. I hope I was the last in line, because I don’t want this mayhem instilled on anyone else.

I should have known when you avoided my camera that we’d never be picture perfect.

Too bad you didn’t come with instructions.

You don’t bring me flowers anymore. But then, you never did.

I wait for my roommates to leave so I can be alone when I think of you and play the piano.

SUMMER OH NINE

I cannot express how ready and excited I am.

LOL

I spelt "urk" two differnt ways last post. ;)

Welp. This week has not been good. I'm just not in a good place. I'm ready for this slump to be over.

Welp.

I'm urked right now. I'm an abundance of emotions. I'm sad because I miss my boyfriend. I see him everyday, but we haven't hung out in too long. I'm excited because I am officially visiting MY BREEZY this summer!! I'm irked by people. People who think my world revolve around them, people who think they're the shit, people who piss me off for kicks and giggles. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a couple of months.

Hey, life, you're too much to handle sometimes.

I find it funny

how a few words or finding something out can spark a complete revolution. Let me just say that I haven't felt this way in a LONG TIME and I don't like it.



Oooooh... mysterious...
My posts are often so vague so you anonymous blog readers out there can remain wondering about the intricacies my life. ;)

PostSecret

Literally, perfect this week. You are good to me, PostSecret.

Also, I have drawn a conclusion. I generally dislike you. I don't like the way you regard me now after everything that has happened, I don't like how you have seemingly forgotten everything, I don't like how everything turned out. The funny thing is, I know I don't dislike you at all, I just really wish I did because I hate what you do.

More Nostalgia

I just spent the last hour looking through eighth grade pictures. My heart just aches. Every picture just brought back a flood of memories and it was so overwhelming. I haven't thought about eighth grade this much since, like, the first day of summer before freshman year. AKA the day after eighth grade graduation. I had so many people to lean on. I was surrounded by so much love. What happened? I remember sitting with Mr. Reed in San Deigo and him telling me what I deserve. I remember crying with Ashley Swazey on the beach. I remember Ashley, Michelle, Sami, Merritt... those girls were my rocks. I remember staying up all night with Michelle, talking to boys. I remember thinking I was at the peak of my maturity. I remember realizing what love is at humanities camp. I remember being accepted. I remember loving with my whole heart. I remember thinking heartbreak would kill me. I remember being friends with everyone. The highest and lowest points of my life thus far were in eighth grade, and it's insane to me how much has changed since then. Does anyone else remember? Or is it just me?

I love how my two most recent posts are about my future and my past. Whud up, symbolism of my life?

,

Can I jsut fast-forward two years and be here please?

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to prove how badly we want something."

I'm excited to prove myself. Bring it on, bitches.

I would just like to say

that I really love people. Just people as a whole. I think there is so much kindness and humanity around me and I really love it. So thank you for making me smile when I'm freaking out.

On another note, I am praying to the gods of student council that I am not voted out of office. Because, DEAR GOD, let's get real here. What would I do without student council? :(

Blehhh.

I miss Casey. He's been in San Diego all weekend, and we left on a really sour note on Thursday night. I'm just glad he knows how much I care for him. Being away from him makes me realize how lucky I am to have such a healthy, loving relationship.

,

"I thought it was cute that you acted like a kid, until one day you threw me away like I was a toy you got bored with." -Dear Old Love

I'm so weird

when it comes to this blog. I go through stages where I feel like I'm just dishing my problems out on everyone and I do not like it. And then I go through stages where I just go buckwild and wear my heart on my sleeve. I apologize for the inconsistency, friends.

"Silverlined Hearts" by Taylor Mali

I’m for reckless abandon
and spontaneous celebrations of nothing at all,
like the twin flutes I kept in the trunk of my car
in a box labeled Emergency Champagne Glasses!

Raise an unexpected glass to long, cold winters
and sweet hot summers and the beautiful confusion of the times in between.
To the unexpected drenching rain that leaves you soaking
wet and smiling breathless;
“We danced in the garden in torn sheets in the rain,”
we were christened in the sanctity of the sprinkler,
can’t you hear it singing out its Hallelujah?

Here’s to the soul-expanding power
of the simply beautiful.

See, things you hate, things you despise,
multinational corporations and lies that politicians tell,
injustices that make you mad as hell,
that’s all well and good.
And as far as writing poems goes,
I guess you should.
It just might be a poem that gets Mumia released,
brings an end to terrorism or peace in the middle east.

But as far as what soothes me, what inspires and moves me,
honesty behooves me to tell you your rage doesn’t move me.
See, like the darkest of clouds my heart has a silver lining,
which does not harken to the loudest whining,
but beats and stirs and grows ever more
when I learn of the things you’re actually for.

That’s why I’m for best friends, long drives, and smiles,
nothing but the sound of thinking for miles.
For the unconditional love of dogs:
may we learn the lessons of their love by heart.
For therapy when you need it,
and poetry when you need it.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The solution to every problem usually involves some kind of liquid,
even if it’s only Emergency Champagne
or running through the sprinkler.
Can’t you hear it calling you?

I’m for crushes not acted upon, for admiration from afar,
for the delicate and the resilient and the fragile human heart,
may it always heal stronger than it was before.
For walks in the woods, and for the woods themselves,
by which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.
Window seats, and locally brewed beer,
and love letters written by hand with fountain pens:
I’m for all of these.

I’m for evolution more than revolution
unless you’re offering some kind of solution.

I’m for the courage it takes to volunteer, to say “yes,” “I believe,” and “I will.”
For the bright side, the glass half full, the silver lining,
and the optimists who consider darkness just a different kind of shining.

So don’t waste my time and your curses on verses
about what you are against, despise, and abhor.
Tell me what inspires you, what fulfills and fires you,
put your precious pen to paper and tell me what you’re for!

"That's a lot of sadness in one box."

Oh, nostalgia.

Les Mis

"The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterward. Nothing is more real than these great shocked which two souls give each other in exchanged this spark." -Les Miserables

Downfall

So I've finally pinpointed my major weakness: imperfection. If I'm not good at something or if I'm not the best, then I have this horrible urge to not even try. I mean, people always ask me who I take on so much, AP classes, student council, and speech, and it's because I want to be good at everything!! I'm slowly realizing that I have to pick and choose. I can't be the best. My grades the quarter weren't so hawt, and that's the most important thing of them all. And I'm not even kidding, I've considered quitting speech because I feel like I haven't been a positive contribution to the team. That's just straight up irrational of me. I am absolutely terrified of failure. I wish I could just freakin accept myself. I have never a day in my life been satisfied with who I am because I feel like I haven't been a successful in any area of my life as I could be. I JUST WANT TO LIKE MYSELF. But God, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I just want to be okay with NOT being number 1. It honestly breaks my heart.

Dear Old Love

I would like to share with you my favorite Dear Old Love's that I have accommodated over the last months.

You know I can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy. So I still feel loved by you.

I hate the fact that you made me feel so forgettable, but I can’t forget you.

As much as I want to hate her, I can’t help but admire her for making a brilliant boyfriend out of you.

You always threatened to break the kneecaps of the boy who broke my heart. But now there’s no one here to break yours.

When people ask what I saw in you, the only answer I can give is that I was on the verge of a breakdown, and you seemed okay.

Remember that time you said you’d never abandon me? And then you abandoned me? That sucked.

I loved the way you drank coffee, the way you drove through yellow lights, and the way you’d take and hold my hand in the middle of an argument.

The first day I met you you said, “I’m the coolest kid you’ll ever meet.” You were right.

I regret going home every night to make sure my dog was ok. She would have been fine without me—I’m not fine without you.

My wife wonders why I keep that old pair of jeans. It’s because I was wearing them the last time I was with you.

My expectations had fallen so low that when you responded to my last “I love you” with “I’m working on it,” I was touched.

I have a new girlfriend now, and I’m pretty happy. She’s not you, though.

You have a new girlfriend. I haven’t even changed my sheets.

Yes, I was comparing you to my ex the whole time. In the end, you couldn’t even make me hate myself like he could.

I know the distance is a factor. As is your inability to admit that I am a total babe.

When you said “I love you,” you forgot to add, “But I love drugs more.”

All this would be so much easier if I hated you.

Every time I describe you, I hate the person I’m talking about. But every time you’re within touching distance, I’m painfully enamored.

As it turns out, every song ever written is about you. I had no idea you were so popular.

I knew we wouldn’t last because you used the wrong version of “you’re” in almost every one of your emails.

Don’t assume I had nothing to say because I didn’t reply. I had a lot to say. I just didn’t think any of it would matter.

I know it got old for you, but I could have gone back and forth hurting each other forever.

I’m sorry I’m not her.

Some days I do not miss you. But other days.

I deserve better, but I don’t want better.

If only I could stop thinking about the person I thought you were.

:)

LOLZ- I thought I was done blogging. Well.... nope.


I don't think I have ever (yes, ever) been happier than I am right now. I am just head over heels for muh boy, my stress level is lower than normal, and my break hasn't been boring AT ALL. The only time I've really been home was to sleep. Let me take you through my break! Since I know you're all wondering.

FRIDAY- My d-bag of an uncle came in town with his family from Wyoming. I love his family, his wife and two kids, but my uncle is a JERK. He's really rich and all he does is talk about himself. He literally forgot who my sister was. Okay, my uncle has like 5 nieces and nephews total and he FORGOT one of them?! How self-absorbed do you have to be to accomplish that? Nonetheless, I hung out with my four year old cousin. He's a G. And then I spent the rest of the night at Dillon's prepping for teh tournamentz0rz we had the next day.

SATURDAY - I had a tournament at Mesa. It was fun. And after, me and some people went to Native. Coincedentally, it was karaoke night. Yep. I spent my first night of break singing karaoke with people including Tim Lee and a drunk Canadian named Tomas (pronounced Toe-moss).

SUNDAY - I'm pretty sure I just spent the whole day with Casey. I would just like to tell everyone how much I adore him, and how lovely he is. Later that night, we went to Dillon's and played Mario Kart on the Wii!!!!!

MONDAY - I also spent this whole day with Casey. We went to Dillon's (again) to play Mario Kart Wii. We all went to dinner at CK's and helped Dillon ask Paige to prom. And played more Mario Kart.

TUESDAY - I babysat for the majority of the day, and discovered that the people I babysit for had Mario Kart on Wii. Which gives me new motication to babysit. Just kidding.... a little. And theeeen, I went down to Brophy with Lauren and Paige to see the play they're putting on, The Baseball Show. It was cute. We went to Oregano's after to get some wings and pizza... and it was delicious.

WEDNESDAY - I also spent the majority of this day babysitting, but I went laser tagging with Dillon, Casey, Lauren, and Paige in the evening. I LOVE LASER TAGGING!!!! Dillon, Casey and I got some pizza and went back to Dillon's to play some Mario Kart (I'm obsessed). :)

And now today, I am going to a spring training game (WHICH I LOVE) with my three faves.

Anyway... I feel stupid posting all of that. Like anyone actually cares. Now I rememberd why I said I was going to stop blogging... because I feel stupid and irrelevent. Okay... sorry for wasting everyone's time... bye!

.......

This blog is dying. I just can't bring myself to write anymore. I feel like I'm being judged for what I say, and I hate feeling like I'm complaining. So... this blog will be dead for awhile. Until I get over this phase.... IF I ever get over this phase.

Sammi Unleashed

Y'all are crazy! I respect dreamers and everything, but there's a fine line between being a dreamer and being unrealistic. So, um.... that's all.

I miss my best friend.

Whud up, new obsession?

http://www.fmylife.com



THANK YOU EMILY NICHOLS.

Memorial

So the father of a boy I used to know died this week. I went to his memorial, and I didn't think it would affect me as much as it did.

My prayers go out to the Dos Santos family.

Sorry

I've been having a hard time posting lately. Becuase everything I'm struggling with is so internal and personal. All I can really say is people don't really change. I mean, essentially, people will always be who they are. That mostly makes me happy.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I know everyone is sooooooooooooooooo interested in my life, but this blog will be dormant for a while.

!!!!!!

I think I'm dying. Okay, slight exaggeration, but not really. It feels like tiny needles are piercing me everywhere in my body. I hurt.

"I have no need to post right now."

WHAAAAAT? Why would I even say that? That's not even true! So much is happening, and so much has happened. So enjoy all these random blurbs of emotion:

First thing, I am completely over my nostalgia. Do you know how good that feels? I mean, okay, I miss a few things. I miss my long hair, Danielle Fazio, and one or two middle school friendships. I have the potential to be missing sooo many more people and more things. But I don't. Because my "right now" is so beautiful. I'm really happy. Usually I befall a horrible case of sadness and nostalgia when I connect with people from my past. It hasn't happened in a few months, and I am so thankful.

I'm actually reading Les Mis for English and I love it!!

So this weekend has been pretty much the exact opposite of last weekend. I went home sick on Friday, and spent my Saturday in the emergency room. I woke up Saturday with really unusual symptoms: sharp pains in my back, my jaw hurting, fever, horrible headache, very sore throat, bad cough. My mom called my doctor and explained my symptoms and she said it sounded like I had spinal meningitis. Then I proceeded to not be able to breathe for like fifteen minutes. It was frightening, and I was freaking out. So my mom and I went to the emergency room and luckily was NOT diagnosed with meningitis. I have viral pharyngitis, which is like a throat/lung infection. It's awful and no fun at all!!

On another note, I feel like I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've said that a few times this year but honestly, it just keeps getting better and better. Besides a massive amount of stress, I'm so satisfied with everything. I love speech more and more each day. Student council is so incredibly rewarding. Now, I believe highly in jinxes, so it's kind of a huge risk for me to say this: my relationship with Casey is the closest thing to perfect I have ever experienced. I am blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life who treats me so well.

Wonderful.

What a wonderful weekend, with wonderful friends, wonderful competition, and a wonderful boyfriend.

I have no need to post right now.

The Strangest Thing

Just a breakdown of my thoughts at the moment.

1. Harvard:

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS WEEKEND! Really, I'm just so excited to be in my favorite city in the whole world. I'm so excited to see my best friend. I'm so excited to be in cold weather. I'm so excited to spend the weekend with the most magical team in the state of AZ. :) Boston is the most magnificent city in the world. 

2. Stress:

The last two days were the most overwhelming days I have ever experienced. I had two major projects and a major student council fundraiser. I've had seven hours of sleep in the last two nights - three last night and four the night before. I'm a little dead right now. If you know me at all, you know that I do not function well without a good amount of sleep. I feel like I've been in a daze all day. It's horrific. Theoretically, this weekend will be a break from the stress. However, I have a trillion tests to make up when I get back. 

3. Valentine's Day:

Fuck Valentine's day. I dislike it greatly. I think it's stupid. Does anyone even know the significance of the holiday? Maybe I don't like it because I've never had a good V-day experience. I've been fairly lonely each year. Last year was at the verge of a break up, and the year before was absolutely miserable. Luckily Valentine's Day is fairly nonexistent for me because I will competing all day Saturday. I just want to ignore it all together. Or it could just go away.

4. Coldplay:

For your reading pleasures, here is the Coldplay song of the day:

"The Hardest Part"

"And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part

Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing

Was waiting for that bell to ring

It was the strangest start

I could feel it so down

It is sweet I could taste it in my mouth

Silver lining the clouds

Oh and I

I wish that I could work it out.

And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part

You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing

But I couldn't think of anything

That was the hardest part

Everything I know is wrong

Everything I do just comes undone

And everything is torn apart."

:(

What's up, stress?

Not even exaggerating, this may be the most stressful week of my life. I have never had this much homework. Ever. On top of that, I'm missing multiple unit tests this week because I'm leaving for Boston for a massive speech tournament. On top of THAT, student council is having a huge fatty fundraiser this Friday, which I am missing, and I have to organize the whole thing before I leave. On top of THAT, I'm not nearly anywhere I need to be when it comes to speech. I am unprepared for the tournament this weekend.

An all-nighter is a very real possibility right now.

Just some thoughts.

I really love Coldplay. They're my new favorite. If you get me a Coldplay CD... we're new best friends.

I really love speech and debate!!! I wish people understood it more. I feel like it is so underestimated and misunderstood. I wish everyone understood how dominant Desert Vista is!!! Like really, we just face-crush everyone else, all the time.

I really like Casey Cantor. I'm happy all the time because of him. :)

Youthfulness

So I'm reading this Victorian novel for honors English called Of Human Bondage. It's actually alright. I stumbled across this quote the other night and I re-read it five times because it just hit me so hard.

"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised and wounded."

Seriously, the age we are at right now may be the "best times of our lives." But they're also horribly confusing and painful. We are caught between two extremely different worlds - the carefree world of childhood and the responsibilities of adulthood. We are neither. We are right in the middle, and it's hard. We grow up surrounded by happily ever after stories, being mean isn't allowed, learning to play nice, and knowing to always do the right thing. This is the age where we realize that most stories don't end happily, mean people who play dirty are everywhere, and we aren't sure of the right thing anymore. And it's hard. I would love to live in an idealistic world, but unfortunately that's not how it works. Especially the world of highschool.

Really, all I can do to ease this pain for myself is surround myself with people who love me. Which I think I have done a fabulous job of. Even though my best friend on the planet is over 2000 miles away from me, I can feel her love from the opposite side of the country. Even without her here, I am okay, because I have the best friend in Arizona I could ever ask for. He is the only one in the world who I can trust completely. He is the only person who I feel won't judge me, and I know I can be a shameless mess around him. I am eternally grateful for Stef and Dillon.

So... Cheers to these highschool years. Mmm? :)

Alright.

I decided that reading old myspace comments, whether they be yours or someone's you care about, is a bad idea. I don't like what it does to my head.

And no, don't ask me about it. I won't tell you.

P.S. I WAS CRAZY IN EIGHTH GRADE!!!! Like really... I was insane. I was so dumb. And niave. Like, really.

EPIC!

What an epic football game, with epic food, an epic pool, and epic friends. :) OKAY, I'm still emotionally buzzed from last night sooooo.... bye.

Dear blog commenters,

Please don't demean what I say on here. I keep this blog for me. Not for your lurking pleasures. I keep this to keep my emotions in check FOR ME. So, if you're going to demean something I say via anonymous comments, don't. EXAMPLE: Saying, "It's just blah blah blah. Stop being so depressive and stressed."

I keep this blog open for anyone to read, but that is NOT an invitation for you to be rude to me or demean what I say. So if you think I'm being melodramatic, angry, or depressive, keep it to yourself. Chances are I know that. And don't think you know all the in's and out's of my life just because you read this. I'm a lot more complex than one website.

:(

I'm really stressed out. Student council is going to hell in a handbag. I'm not getting A's in any of my classes. I really, really, really, really, really miss my best friend. Today I got a letter from her and I cried a lot because I really miss her and really need her.







:(

5th period. Again.

I love Photo and Macbooks.