1. You are seriously the biggest bitch of a person I have ever met. You have ruined and will continue to ruin the life of someone who DOESN'T deserve it. Grow up, move on, and let the poor boy be. He deserves far more than you could ever give him.
2. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. I'm not exaggerating when I say my life would be unbearable without you. You get me through every aspect of my life - socially, at work, when I have problems, when I need to vent. You are a wonderful friend and one of the only sensible people left in my life. I will forever be indebted to you :) I love you incredibley!
3. LOL @ your life. What are you doing with it?!
4. You are the light of my life, even over 2000 miles away. Thank you for being so much to me. You are an extension of me, and you inspire me everyday! I love you and I miss you!
5. Get out of my life. You're annoying. Except I love you a lot. You're kind of my other half (the hotter, skinnier half). Thanks for listening to my life problems. Wellp... see ya.
6. 'ELLO CHAP. Come back from England because it's so hard not having you here. YOU GET ME. Wellp. I'm not going to get too emotional for this because we don't do emotions...
7. You are the single most selfless person I have ever met. I don't deserve you.
8. Fake fake fake fake fake fake fake. Fake.
9. You are beautiful in every way! I wish you could see how beautiful you really are, you are so kind and generous and motivated. It makes me so sad knowing that you don't think of yourself in that light at all and I hope you see it someday.
10. I really love you. You are the most valuable in my life. I'm so glad we've stopped being enemies, because you are my best friend. Let's keep it like this for the rest of our lives. You aren't an idiot. And you're bright. P.S. Yes this is about you.
11. I am excited to know you. :)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Summer school
sucks BAD. Why did I do it? English online? Really? Do I have a brain?
Wellp, on a more positive note, I'll birng you up to date with rockin' DOL's:
"Though you really should change, don’t do it for me."
"You made me lose my sparkle. I got it back now."
"It has been weeks, but I am still unable to differentiate my own smells from yours."
"I started a new relationship to show you it was easy for me to move on. Meanwhile, you’ve moved on and I’m now trapped."
"I tried my hardest not to fall asleep. I was sure that sharing a pillow with you and your smile was better than any dream I was going to have."
"You’ve left for the umpteenth time and I still can’t believe it feels as bad as losing the you first time. "
"I’ll remember you for the rest of my life, for both good and bad reasons, but I’m terrified you’ll forget me the second you leave."
"It hurts a lot when you don’t talk to me. It hurts more when you don’t talk about me."
"It has been a month. Please disembark from my train of thought."
"I didn’t want you to leave because I knew you’d never come back."
"Our first kiss was like a gateway drug. "
"I’ve been on an endless search for life-changing experiences to turn me back into the person I was before we met."
"I spend all day sending you telepathic messages that I will always love you (and that the Brewers are better than the Cubs)."
"I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy because I think we’re communicating through Dear Old Love."
"It’s like a disease—you lie dormant for months, and just when I think I’m in the clear, another outbreak. Stop texting me."
"I don’t think I’m ever going to meet anyone more perfect for me than you were. I hope I’m wrong."
"The sad thing is, what I miss most are all the things I complained about when we were together."
"I know you’d be delighted to find out I regret breaking up with you. So you never, ever will."
Wellp, on a more positive note, I'll birng you up to date with rockin' DOL's:
"Though you really should change, don’t do it for me."
"You made me lose my sparkle. I got it back now."
"It has been weeks, but I am still unable to differentiate my own smells from yours."
"I started a new relationship to show you it was easy for me to move on. Meanwhile, you’ve moved on and I’m now trapped."
"I tried my hardest not to fall asleep. I was sure that sharing a pillow with you and your smile was better than any dream I was going to have."
"You’ve left for the umpteenth time and I still can’t believe it feels as bad as losing the you first time. "
"I’ll remember you for the rest of my life, for both good and bad reasons, but I’m terrified you’ll forget me the second you leave."
"It hurts a lot when you don’t talk to me. It hurts more when you don’t talk about me."
"It has been a month. Please disembark from my train of thought."
"I didn’t want you to leave because I knew you’d never come back."
"Our first kiss was like a gateway drug. "
"I’ve been on an endless search for life-changing experiences to turn me back into the person I was before we met."
"I spend all day sending you telepathic messages that I will always love you (and that the Brewers are better than the Cubs)."
"I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy because I think we’re communicating through Dear Old Love."
"It’s like a disease—you lie dormant for months, and just when I think I’m in the clear, another outbreak. Stop texting me."
"I don’t think I’m ever going to meet anyone more perfect for me than you were. I hope I’m wrong."
"The sad thing is, what I miss most are all the things I complained about when we were together."
"I know you’d be delighted to find out I regret breaking up with you. So you never, ever will."
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
I have
already fallen in love with BML and I posted that last post less than five minutes ago.
"You were the first person to ever show me what love was. You made me who I am today in more ways then you’ll ever know. I know you don’t remember us, nor do you know the person that I am today. I may have learned so much about love after you left, but you were the seed that started it all.
I won’t ever tell you any of this, but I hope you’re happy.
If anyone in the world deserves to be, you do."
"I’ve considered myself to be so strong. I’ve worked to predict every outcome, every fall, every single way this could go wrong. With everything I’ve ever learned about protecting myself, you still broke through.
You’ve exposed my greatest weakness of never really healing when I’ve said I’ve healed.
You made me think perfection was reachable again, and for that I can’t ever forgive you."
"I often think about what it would be like if none of this ever happened. If we hadn’t met each other, and we continued to live our lives without ever encountering each other.
I used to wish for it, but I no longer do because that would mean I would be without the memories we made together.
They’re all I have left."
"I won’t ever forgive you because you don’t deserve to feel better.
The person I was before you broke my heart would have forgiven you, but that person is gone."
"I wasn’t good enough for you, I know that. I was in love with you, but I realized I didn’t give as much as I should have. Being in love is one thing, but being love is a higher level that you deserved.
I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.
We’re different people now, but I’d give everything for one last chance to give you the world like you gave it to me."
"Some of us remember the moment, where it was, why it happened. Others remember the exact day it happened, what we were wearing, and exactly where we were standing.
But we all remember the moment our hearts slipped off our sleeves, and broke like glass into hundreds of unglueable pieces as it hit the ground.
At that second, love no longer was forever, and we knew we’d never think it was again."
"You’re so meant to be in my life that I think if we put our backs together and ran away from each other, at some point we’d collide whether it took hours, days, or years.
Everyday I see your smile, I can’t help but get shy like the first time I ever saw it.
It’s like falling in love all over every time, and I want to keep doing it everyday of my life."
"The best thing about us is that we know exactly how to make each other laugh, cry, frown, freak out, and most importantly smile.
I always wonder why I never met you before I did, and why we never got the chance to start earlier than we did. Then I realized I met you the exact second I was ready to truly appreciate you.
You’re the best focus of a heart at any given second of every day."
"It can happen when you’re already happy, barely happy, or even thinking that you’ll never have something so great in your life like you just had previously.
But it takes one moment to stumble into something more amazing.
It’s the one thing you underestimate the most.
Or the one person."
"You’re flawed, angry, frustrating, and stubborn. Sometimes, the most frustrating thing in the world is trying to be there for you.
But i’ve never felt more contempt with doing anything in my life than I am with that.
I look at your face, and no matter how far you go, how distant at times we get, and how we just seem to plain disagree sometimes, the truth is known to me.
I’m madly in love with you when you let me.
And that’ll always be the best feeling I know."
"There’s always that one person that makes you change yourself. That person that you hate, but will never really stop loving. It ended bad but the good memories never leave, thus they always haunt you.
You’re that better person now, but they won’t be getting any thanks.
There’s nothing more secret to your heart than that."
"You disappoint me to the point where I forget why I ever fell in love with you.
Make no mistake though, I’m never going to let you go."
"You were the first person to ever show me what love was. You made me who I am today in more ways then you’ll ever know. I know you don’t remember us, nor do you know the person that I am today. I may have learned so much about love after you left, but you were the seed that started it all.
I won’t ever tell you any of this, but I hope you’re happy.
If anyone in the world deserves to be, you do."
"I’ve considered myself to be so strong. I’ve worked to predict every outcome, every fall, every single way this could go wrong. With everything I’ve ever learned about protecting myself, you still broke through.
You’ve exposed my greatest weakness of never really healing when I’ve said I’ve healed.
You made me think perfection was reachable again, and for that I can’t ever forgive you."
"I often think about what it would be like if none of this ever happened. If we hadn’t met each other, and we continued to live our lives without ever encountering each other.
I used to wish for it, but I no longer do because that would mean I would be without the memories we made together.
They’re all I have left."
"I won’t ever forgive you because you don’t deserve to feel better.
The person I was before you broke my heart would have forgiven you, but that person is gone."
"I wasn’t good enough for you, I know that. I was in love with you, but I realized I didn’t give as much as I should have. Being in love is one thing, but being love is a higher level that you deserved.
I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.
We’re different people now, but I’d give everything for one last chance to give you the world like you gave it to me."
"Some of us remember the moment, where it was, why it happened. Others remember the exact day it happened, what we were wearing, and exactly where we were standing.
But we all remember the moment our hearts slipped off our sleeves, and broke like glass into hundreds of unglueable pieces as it hit the ground.
At that second, love no longer was forever, and we knew we’d never think it was again."
"You’re so meant to be in my life that I think if we put our backs together and ran away from each other, at some point we’d collide whether it took hours, days, or years.
Everyday I see your smile, I can’t help but get shy like the first time I ever saw it.
It’s like falling in love all over every time, and I want to keep doing it everyday of my life."
"The best thing about us is that we know exactly how to make each other laugh, cry, frown, freak out, and most importantly smile.
I always wonder why I never met you before I did, and why we never got the chance to start earlier than we did. Then I realized I met you the exact second I was ready to truly appreciate you.
You’re the best focus of a heart at any given second of every day."
"It can happen when you’re already happy, barely happy, or even thinking that you’ll never have something so great in your life like you just had previously.
But it takes one moment to stumble into something more amazing.
It’s the one thing you underestimate the most.
Or the one person."
"You’re flawed, angry, frustrating, and stubborn. Sometimes, the most frustrating thing in the world is trying to be there for you.
But i’ve never felt more contempt with doing anything in my life than I am with that.
I look at your face, and no matter how far you go, how distant at times we get, and how we just seem to plain disagree sometimes, the truth is known to me.
I’m madly in love with you when you let me.
And that’ll always be the best feeling I know."
"There’s always that one person that makes you change yourself. That person that you hate, but will never really stop loving. It ended bad but the good memories never leave, thus they always haunt you.
You’re that better person now, but they won’t be getting any thanks.
There’s nothing more secret to your heart than that."
"You disappoint me to the point where I forget why I ever fell in love with you.
Make no mistake though, I’m never going to let you go."
ATTN blog readers:
Stefanie shared a blog with me, and I know more than one of you will appreciate this beauty. Enjoy:
http://boymeetslove.com/
http://boymeetslove.com/
Monday, May 18, 2009
GRRR!
I'm very careful not to name names in my blog when I am angry or upset, and this is no exception. I. Am. So. Irked. I've just been irritated by so many people around me lately and I'm ready for summer so I can just shake them off. Maybe it's just me and my tolerance level getting lower and lower. But maybe people around me have been un-maturing. Maturing backwards. I DON'T KNOW. Maybe I should just learn patience. I'm really lucky to have two BFF's in this state who understand me though. Thank you Emily and Dillon for keeping me sane. Like really, I really really thank you because I could probably go on a mass murdering spree without you.
Side note: I am excited to see my breezy and bestest best friend Stefanie Gardner this summer. She will renew my sanity and my love for life.
Side note: I am excited to see my breezy and bestest best friend Stefanie Gardner this summer. She will renew my sanity and my love for life.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
So good.
This is a commencement speech given by Mary Schmich in 1997. My motold me about it and I really like it.
"Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults... and if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
"Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults... and if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Been a while...
In all honesty, the only reason I ever long onto blogspot anymore is to see Dear Old Love updates. They just MOVE me! Because even though I don't relate to them anymore, I have at one point and most of them are just beautifully written. So let me share some with you before I actually start this post:
My world revolves around you, but I haven’t seen you in almost 2 years. I feel like Pluto, the quasi-planet, looking for the sun from a trillion miles away.
I write about you in my blog and pray you still can’t afford a computer due to your rampant drug use.
When we met, I wanted to save you. Now I’m the one who needs to be rescued.
I should’ve learned by now that dysfunctional plus dysfunctional does not equal normal.
I’ll always find it incredibly charming when you have strong feelings about things. Even things that aren’t me.
I know I meant more to you than you were able to tell me. I could tell by the way you looked at me. I still needed the words.
Why am I the only one of your ex-girlfriends you’re not still in love with?
My roommate saw you at the grocery store. You can buy food now?!
In case you’re wondering if any of these are about you: this one is.
You said you would love me forever. I guess forever arrived earlier for you.
You are such a weird thing to miss.
Do you think about me half as much as I Google you?
Sometimes I think we should break up so we can post pithy lines here about how great we were together.
I hate that your love had an expiration date.
I pick fights with him now, because I got so used to daily brawls with you.
You taught me my worth and then decided I wasn’t worthy enough.
I don’t regret writing all those long-ass letters to you (not even that last one).
I looked forward to past summers because of how we always found each other. I am dreading this one because you’ve found someone else.
I like to pretend I’m done with you, but every time I catch a whiff of someone chewing your strawberry gum, suddenly I’m back to when my hair is long and you loved me.
You were all my important firsts rolled into one big, curly-haired amateur footballer.
I wish it were simple enough that I could Ctrl+D you from my mind.
More collaboration, less competition. That’s all I crave.
I’ll never forget how you kissed me on the forehead in the middle of the night; or how I sobbed two days later when you broke my heart (again).
I regret that we spent our whole reationship trying to prove how much we didn’t like each other.
IN OTHER NEWS:
A. I got a job. I'm seriously so excited.
B. I'M VISITING MY BEST FRIEND AND MY FAVORITE CITY THIS SUMMER! It will be the highlight of my summer, no doubt. I am maximized as a person when we're together... so I couldn't be more excited! She is the light of my life!
C. I'm glad the school year is over. Not only am i de-stressed, but this year hasn't really been that... good. I feel like it was too fast to be substantial. Ya know?
D. 1'm 0bs3sS3d w!t TWITTER!
Aight.... peace.
My world revolves around you, but I haven’t seen you in almost 2 years. I feel like Pluto, the quasi-planet, looking for the sun from a trillion miles away.
I write about you in my blog and pray you still can’t afford a computer due to your rampant drug use.
When we met, I wanted to save you. Now I’m the one who needs to be rescued.
I should’ve learned by now that dysfunctional plus dysfunctional does not equal normal.
I’ll always find it incredibly charming when you have strong feelings about things. Even things that aren’t me.
I know I meant more to you than you were able to tell me. I could tell by the way you looked at me. I still needed the words.
Why am I the only one of your ex-girlfriends you’re not still in love with?
My roommate saw you at the grocery store. You can buy food now?!
In case you’re wondering if any of these are about you: this one is.
You said you would love me forever. I guess forever arrived earlier for you.
You are such a weird thing to miss.
Do you think about me half as much as I Google you?
Sometimes I think we should break up so we can post pithy lines here about how great we were together.
I hate that your love had an expiration date.
I pick fights with him now, because I got so used to daily brawls with you.
You taught me my worth and then decided I wasn’t worthy enough.
I don’t regret writing all those long-ass letters to you (not even that last one).
I looked forward to past summers because of how we always found each other. I am dreading this one because you’ve found someone else.
I like to pretend I’m done with you, but every time I catch a whiff of someone chewing your strawberry gum, suddenly I’m back to when my hair is long and you loved me.
You were all my important firsts rolled into one big, curly-haired amateur footballer.
I wish it were simple enough that I could Ctrl+D you from my mind.
More collaboration, less competition. That’s all I crave.
I’ll never forget how you kissed me on the forehead in the middle of the night; or how I sobbed two days later when you broke my heart (again).
I regret that we spent our whole reationship trying to prove how much we didn’t like each other.
IN OTHER NEWS:
A. I got a job. I'm seriously so excited.
B. I'M VISITING MY BEST FRIEND AND MY FAVORITE CITY THIS SUMMER! It will be the highlight of my summer, no doubt. I am maximized as a person when we're together... so I couldn't be more excited! She is the light of my life!
C. I'm glad the school year is over. Not only am i de-stressed, but this year hasn't really been that... good. I feel like it was too fast to be substantial. Ya know?
D. 1'm 0bs3sS3d w!t TWITTER!
Aight.... peace.
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