Today is the sixteenth anniversary of my birth. Hehe I'm lame. But... happy birthday to me?
Anyway I have a lot of mixed feelings about my life right now. I'm just always so uneasy when new things come along. Probably because my trust was shattered from past relationships, and I'm super uneasy about trusting anyone new. It's funny. Because I compare to the time I was wrecked by a relationship in eighth grade versus the time I was wrecked by a relationship a few months ago. The huge difference I notice is that in eighth grade, I accepted and looked for help. Unlike the more recent one. In eighth grade, I kinda took that hurt as a change to strengthen myself whereas this time, I just kinda didn't do anything about it, resulting in this bottled up hurt and shattered trust. I thought I could handle myself. I'm more than okay now, but the aftermath of pented up anger/hurt and the uneasiness to trust is so horrible. And I don't know what to do.
P.S. That probably made no sense at all... Sorry for the sporadic word vomit. :)
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You know I completely understood that and followed every word. I hate losing faith in people in general. ONE DAY, I swear all the hurt we ever endured will be worth it because there will be some guy who completely and wholly gives himself to us before we give ourselves to him will make us realize that it was all a part of this big puzzle. He was only one piece of my 3000 piece puzzle and those two were only TWO pieces of yours.
:) i love you so much. i'm so glad you understand my random texts about post secret. (ADDICTION MUCH?!)
ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, as if i haven't said it enough HA :) :)
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