I am beyond frustrated with myself. The worst thing in the entire world is unreciprocated effort. I hate that I'm throwing everything I have into something that will never be worth it, it feels like. And it's the worst when someone means so much to you, and they refuse or choose to ignore how much you're trying to do for them. I wish I could just give up and walk away, but that's not who I am. No matter how hopeless something is, I stick around. And it causes me a lot of unnecessary pain.
I WISH YOU WOULD NOTICE HOW MUCH I CARE FOR YOU, AND HOW MUCH I WANT YOU TO CARE FOR ME THE WAY I CARE FOR YOU.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
wicca wicca what?
FANTASY SPEECH AND DEBATE TEAMS?!?! My life is complete. In all seriousity.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24583934474&ref=mf
I know at each tournament now I will be striving to not let down my fantasy team. I'm lame and kind of a huge dork but I love it!!!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24583934474&ref=mf
I know at each tournament now I will be striving to not let down my fantasy team. I'm lame and kind of a huge dork but I love it!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
This is beautiful.
Please read this quote and embrace it. This is so great and so true and do not forget it!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
:) :) :).
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
:) :) :).
The good stuff.
Today in photo, I made a list of my very favorite things: :)
1. That one time we fell asleep holding hands.
2. Having sleepovers with my sister.
3. Recieving mail from my very best friend.
4. Speech theatre and debate.
5. Dressing up.
6. My mom holding me when I'm sad.
7. Seeing you in a good mood.
8. The feeling of being appreciated.
9. Reciprocated love.
10. The fact that I can tell you anything.
11. Having a best friend who lives somewhere very beautiful.
12. Student council events.
13. Veinte ice caramel macchiatos (mixed) from Starbucks.
14. Boys with six-packs.
15. The fulfillment of inspiring people.
16. Your smile.
17. Funny, but not offensive, jokes.
18. Teachers who care.
19. My middle school memories.
20. La idioma de espanol.
21. Walking to class with you.
22. Family time.
23. You... because you're just so cute.
24. Movies that make me cry.
25. Waking up just to realize that there are still a few hours left to sleep.
26.Silent communication.
27. Love stories
28. Being close enough to you to smell your hair.
29. Comments like, "Sammi, you are a hopeless romantic."
30. Realizing what you really deserve.
31. Sailing :)
32. Quien es el amigo que sera tu amigo para siempre? Quien es el amigo que te necesita mas que nadie?
33. Seeing you, and knowing I'm actually happier without you.
34. Wearing my heart on my sleeve.
35. Little kids, because they don't know how to hate.
36. Being taken on a real date (which hasn't happened yet... but I know it will someday be one of my favorite things!).
37. Speech tournaments.
38. You don't hug me often, but when you do, it's my favorite thing in the world.
39. People who respect other's morals.
40. Sacrifice, because it's always worth it in the end.
41. Couples who fit together like puzzle pieces.
42. HOPE.
"I've never told you. I fear if you knew the magnitude of the feelings contained in this candy heart of mine, you'd run screaming away, or maybe you'd stay but bolt and chain the door to your emotions to keep me at bay."
1. That one time we fell asleep holding hands.
2. Having sleepovers with my sister.
3. Recieving mail from my very best friend.
4. Speech theatre and debate.
5. Dressing up.
6. My mom holding me when I'm sad.
7. Seeing you in a good mood.
8. The feeling of being appreciated.
9. Reciprocated love.
10. The fact that I can tell you anything.
11. Having a best friend who lives somewhere very beautiful.
12. Student council events.
13. Veinte ice caramel macchiatos (mixed) from Starbucks.
14. Boys with six-packs.
15. The fulfillment of inspiring people.
16. Your smile.
17. Funny, but not offensive, jokes.
18. Teachers who care.
19. My middle school memories.
20. La idioma de espanol.
21. Walking to class with you.
22. Family time.
23. You... because you're just so cute.
24. Movies that make me cry.
25. Waking up just to realize that there are still a few hours left to sleep.
26.Silent communication.
27. Love stories
28. Being close enough to you to smell your hair.
29. Comments like, "Sammi, you are a hopeless romantic."
30. Realizing what you really deserve.
31. Sailing :)
32. Quien es el amigo que sera tu amigo para siempre? Quien es el amigo que te necesita mas que nadie?
33. Seeing you, and knowing I'm actually happier without you.
34. Wearing my heart on my sleeve.
35. Little kids, because they don't know how to hate.
36. Being taken on a real date (which hasn't happened yet... but I know it will someday be one of my favorite things!).
37. Speech tournaments.
38. You don't hug me often, but when you do, it's my favorite thing in the world.
39. People who respect other's morals.
40. Sacrifice, because it's always worth it in the end.
41. Couples who fit together like puzzle pieces.
42. HOPE.
"I've never told you. I fear if you knew the magnitude of the feelings contained in this candy heart of mine, you'd run screaming away, or maybe you'd stay but bolt and chain the door to your emotions to keep me at bay."
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Ahhh.
"Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again"
I have put myself in the worst situation EVER when it comes to liking a boy. And I don't know how to deal with it, which is really unlike me.
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