THESE ARE THE CUTEST!

I wish I had someone to share my crazy, hopeless romantisism with.

Ahhh.

"Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again"

I have put myself in the worst situation EVER when it comes to liking a boy. And I don't know how to deal with it, which is really unlike me.

HEY YOU!

You should get a blog. Yeah, you. Then I can read about your life and your thoughts, because myspace and facebook (which I hate now, BTW, I think I'm deleting my FB soon) only let you get so personal. :) So... ready, set, GO!

"Here's to the soul-expanding power of the simply beautiful."

I have been so inspired lately. :) These are poems, movie quotes, and beautiful words from people I know. Enjoy.


"I’m for crushes not acted upon, for admiration from afar,
for the delicate and the resiliant and the fragile human heart,
may it always heal stronger than it was before.
For walks in the woods, and the for the woods themselves,
by which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.
Window seats, and locally brewed beer,
and love letters written by hand with fountain pens:
I’m for all of these."

Reverend Bock: Lars asked us not to wear black today. He did so to remind us that this is no ordinary funeral. We are here to celebrate Bianca's extraordinary life. From her wheelchair, Bianca reached out and touched us all, in ways we could never have imagined. She was a teacher. She was a lesson in courage. And Bianca loved us all. Especially Lars. Especially him.

"The hardest thing is loving and then having the courage to let them love you back."- The Wedding Date

"P.S. I will always love you."

"But I haven’t kissed you in quite a while
And I’d really like to.
I’ve never told you
I fear that if you knew the magnitude of feelings contained
In this candy heart of mine, you’d run screaming away
Or maybe you’d stay, but bolt and chain the door to your emotions
To keep me at bay, and
Whether I smoke a pack a day or not
Doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be your natural selection
For preferred affection
But I miss your kiss a lot,
Like I miss cheeseburgers when I haven’t had enough protein,
And I prefer the taste of you in my daydreams
To the smoky flavor of nicotine any day."

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything its cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it... it really is worth fighting for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."- How to Save your Own Life

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished
- Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

"In an effort to get people to look into each other's eyes more The government has decided to allow each person exactly 1 hundred and 67 words, per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant, I point at noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way Late at night I call my long-distance lover and proudly say; 'I only used 59 today. I saved the rest for you.' when he doesn't respond, I know he's used up all his words, so I slowly whisper "I love you" 32 and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe."

"I bet you've had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that. I know what it is not to feel like your in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his." -P.S. I Love You

I know it’s not your style
And i can tell by the way that you move it’s real soon
But I’m on your side
And i don’t want to be your regret; I’d rather be your cocoon
Cocoon by Jack Johnson

"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is."

Carla: Fine, you can't live with Elliot, but you're not living with us so get your crap out by Friday.
JD: Friday? Friday's my birthday. I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Carla: Whose place?
JD: Your place. Look I can't just un-e-vite everyone. I've got two e-yeses and 24 e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Carla: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
JD: It's a Mexican themed fiesta on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That means I'm turning thirty. Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. Cuando? Thank you for asking, ocho-thirty until upside down question mark. Sombreros at the door. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooh!
Turk: I'll be there.
JD: Gracias, amigo. [to Carla] I borrowed one of your dictionaries.

"Some people are drawn to drama. You are not a community theater. Fire the actors from your life. Just because you know someone doesn’t mean you owe them anything. Especially if they’re a tool."

Thank you!!!

These people in today alone renewed my faith in humanity:

Dillon Olmanson, Hannah Ross, William Byrne-Quinn, Stefanie Gardner, Jaslyn Scribner, Casey Cantor, Jake Otte, Kari Nelson, Ramsey Carroll, Sean G, Carly Traxler, Danie Allenspach, Dan Bacon, Mike Mazzela, Zane Waxman, Alex Frost, Mr. Morerro and Ms. Bethea, Alexa Saunders, and the entire class of 2012 at DVHS. Yes, the names are random and sorry if you are reading this and you see your name and you think I'm a huge creeper. But today I noticed how good people really are. My problem, it seems, is I go through my days getting annoyed at people's mistakes and being straight up intolerant. But today, each one of the people above did something good for me today. Not like a good deed, but did something to make me realize how good-hearted people really are. I had great, funny conversations with some of the people above, I shared secrets, I was inspired, I was complimented, and I was just straight up put in a good mood by these people. So thank you. :)

Life is for love?

As you may have noticed (unless you are the most unobservant person ever...), my blog is titled "Life is for love." I'm sure you've asked, "What does that mean, Sammi?!?! Is that just another cliché saying about life?!?!?" And the answer is NO!!!!!! No words have ever had more of an impact on my life before (okay not true, but it's pretty true). Let me tell you a little story.

Last month, I was fortunate to attend the AASC Spirit Conference at Apache Junction High School with student council. Attached are pictures from it, it was great and beautiful and funny and spirited and everything else good in the world. The theme was Wild Wild West so the sophomore class dressed as bandits... and what sexy bandits we were ;). There was this guest speaker whose name was Tyler Durman. And he was the most incredible speaker I have ever heard. He spoke to us for an hour, and he got everyone laughing and everyone crying. What he talked about was SO powerful, and it put life into perspective. I wish I was as cool as him, so then I could tell you exactly what he said... but unfortunately I suck. So I'm afraid I'm going to butcher what he said, but bear with me. Everything he said to us could be summed up in a few words: everyone wants to be loved. Everyone lives to be loved. The moment anyone ever gives up is when they feel they have a loveless life. And most of the time we are too caught up in our own lives and our own hunt for love, we forget about the people around us. It's easy to forget that everyone else has problems, too. Love is so, so important. Not romantic love, necessarily, but friendly love, love that listens and cares and wants the best for you. We live for love. Life is for love. It's the worst when we see people around us giving up hope, when they resort to things like drugs and self manipulation. Love and hope go hand in hand. Please, let Tyler's words be carried with you. Reach out to someone. Let friend's know you love them. It's so much more important than you think. Think about it - think of how lonely you feel after a bad day. Think of how much better you would feel if someone simply called you to see if you were okay, or complimented you, or made a surprise visit to see you. So maybe "life is for love" IS cliché, but it's so important, because loneliness and hopelessness and a loveless life is something no one wants.

"You are an unintellegent idiot."

I would like to dedicate this blog post to my little sister, because even though I act like I hate her most of the time, she is my best friend. When we were little, we used to sing this song together, and my mom loved it so much she would make us perform it in front of all of our relatives at family gatherings. I think one time we even performed it in front of this random nursing home my grandma ran. Anyway it was from the show Barney.

"Sometimes we're real close friends

We stay up late and talk at night.

Other times we don't get along

There are even times we fight

But I know she's always there

And I know she'll always care

She's my sister, I love my sister

I've given her a great big hug

When she was feeling sad

But then again I've said somethings

That really made her mad.

But I know she's always there

And I know she'll always care

She's my sister, I love my sister

She's my sister, I love my sister"

Alexa, I'm sorry that I'm such a jerk sometimes, but I love you. :)

Secrets.

AZ

So I was thinking as I was running this morning, I wish I had somewhere prettier to run. My best friend has a river and beautiful trees to run with over in the city of Big B, and I have a fake man-made lake... Great. Screw you, Arizona.

Today I have a date with my momma. :) We're going to go see Momma Mia, go to lunch, and then go homecoming dress browsing!

I guess I'm feelin' alright about everything right now. Repetitivity is like a curse to me, because change always helps me realize how much I have and it always brings me good in the end. Life is pretty change-less right now, and it makes me bored. So I guess I'm just waiting.

I miss you, best friend. I need to see you soon! I'm the happiest when I'm with you with our countless adventures and creepiness. :D I LOVE YOU and I hope you're doing well.

Yes, she's single.

I love this sexy lady.

It's funny.

Shortly after I posted my last post, one of the used-to-be's left me a myspace comment:

"i miss you sammi saunders.so much. i was just thinking about last summer, and camp. and ah, it puts everything back into perspective. and how much things have changed, and people have changed. and its shocking. and its reality. but its hard to accept.you taught me so much, so so so much. its unbelivable. you were the one that introuduced me to all that stuff, that i had no clue about, no belief about, and you brought it into my life. without a warning. you got me through some of my toughest situations, and no matter what i did, you told me what i should do. and how i will be forgiven for it from God. and i always did. He always forgave me. i really dont know what i would do without you sammi, your advice, and friendship really did get me through alot more than you think.so i guess i owe you a huge thank you. over and over and over again."

Either people actually read this (not likely), or that was God talking. Beautiful.

On another note, I just had a really weird experience with an ex. A relapse, if you will. Dang it. Relapses are the worst. Okay, attached at the top of this post is the picture that makes my life complete. Everytime I look at it, it reminds me how lucky I am.

The used-to-be's.

Yesterday, I talked to a few people I haven't talked to in awhile. And that took me back to my used-to-be best friends. I've lost so many friends in the past five years. And I have so much I want to say to them when I see them. These are the people that I'm just staright up not friends with anymore, in any way. If I had the courage, this is what I would say to them today:

Used-to-be-best-friend #1:
Hey, remember when we used to be best friends?
I don't think you miss me like I miss you.
I think about you every single day, still,
Because you gave me the happiest times of my life.
And it really makes me sad knowing we'll never be close like that again.
You're always going to be important to me.
Thank you for making middle school the best years.

Used-to-be-best-friend #2:
Hey, remember when we used to be best friends?
To be honest, I'm kind of glad we aren't anymore.
We've developed this awkward, tension-y relationship.
Actually it's not even a relationship.
I'm sure you never think about how we used to be friends.
You win the "Changed Most in a Year" award.

Used-to-be-best-friend #3:
Hey, remember when we used to be best friends?
We used to laugh a lot.
I have a feeling that if we talked again, it would be just like it used to be.

Used-to-be-best-friend #4:
Hey, remember when we used to be best friends?
You were the best.
I don't even know where you are or how you're doing anymore.
All I see are your crazy party adventure pictures on myspace.
Just remember: you're better than that.
Remember everything that happened when we were friends.
You are the strongest girl I know.
Thank you for constantly being my inspiration.
I love you, and you're always in my prayers.

Missed me?

I'm sure you did. :) I was grounded from la computadora for the past week because I didn't do an essay and had to have my mom pull me out of school so I can do it. Bad Sammi.

So I'm in the worst, most defeated mood ever. I sat here debating whether I wanted to talk about it. And I decided I didn't. So i'm going just to go be sad now. Bye.

My life through the words of Maria Mena.

"Comfortable as I am,
I need your reassurance
Comfortable as you are,
You count the days
But if I wanted silence I would whisper
If I wanted loneliness I'd choose to go
If I liked rejection I'd audition
And if I didn't love you, you would know
So why can't you just hold me,
how come it's so hard?
Do you like to see me broken?
Why do I still care?
You say you see the light now
at the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all
Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I'm sure I did have good days"

I took a big step for myself and for my well-being today by making the decision to get a tutor for my AP class. This is the first time I've put my pride aside when it comes to schoolwork and get help. And I'm excited to see if this can actually help me.

Mood swing!

Okay, I feel so much better than I have in weeks. I feel so much less stressed out. I'm not sure why, I still have so much to do (like a MASSIVE APWH test I should be studying for and a giant medieval art essay I should be researching for), but I have made a fair amount of progress. Sadies planning is over and the next thing Stu Co related is homecoming floats in October (wheeee!). And I actually finished the first cut of my drama today (speech terms, hehe).

I forgot how much I loved speech and debate until today. Honestly, my passion was renewed and I am so thankful. I'm not really sure what it was to initiate it, maybe it was the fact that I actually got something done, or maybe it was the joy I found from helping novice members.

Oh and if anyone wanted to talk Gossip Girl with me, let me know. Maybe my sudden relief and happiness is because the new season is back and I just finished watching episode two. ;)

This has literally and honestly been the most stressful week of my life. I cannot express my relief that Sadie Hawkins planning is over. I'm so behind on my speech work, and I'm being drowned in homework. I don't have time anymore. What kind of life is that for a sophomore in high school? I'm up late and awake early to get everything I need to do done, and it's still not enough time. It has begun to worry me. I haven't even stop to think about why I'm this way, why I take on so much at one time. And the only reason I can come up with is for my future. For the hope that all of this will someday pay off. All I can hope is that I don't screw up along the way. I'm not sure how I feel about this way of living, honestly, for the future and not for right now. I don't want to look back and think I missed out because I was too busy filling up my time planning school events and studying for stupid tests. I love love love love student council and speech with everything I have, but it's stressin me out. I need to learn time management. I need to slow down. I need to breathe. And I need help with it all.

"We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair." -P.S. I Love You

Chizzled by angels!

Danie and I bought the brightest, silliest costumes for Sadies today. And we dragged William along hehe. He hates shopping. Especially with us. The good news is he has muscles chizzled by angels so I was not bored, hehe. I'm kind of obsessed with his six pack. I'm glad my friends have learned to embrace the creepy side of me. Because I would be horribley lonely and ostrasized if they didn't. :P